


Everybody Talks

by fade_like_starlight



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Steve and Darcy aren't actually in this fic about Steve and Darcy, the Avengers are a bunch of gossips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2012-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-21 08:59:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fade_like_starlight/pseuds/fade_like_starlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Darcy Lewis and Steve Rogers, as seen by everyone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everybody Talks

**Phil Coulson and Maria Hill.**  
  
‘Good to see you’re doing well,’ Maria said.  
  
‘Thanks,’ Phil replied.  
  
‘Always hated these rooms,’ Maria said, looking around the SHIELD medical wing.  
  
‘Yes, they’re terribly dull,’ Phil said. ‘Do we really have that little to talk about?’  
  
‘So it would seem,’ Maria said. ‘I could tell you about the others, I suppose?’  
  
‘Gossip?’ Phil asked, distastefully.  
  
‘Think of it as social intel,’ Maria said, sitting in the uncomfortable ‘visitor’s chair.’ If it were comfortable, visitors would be inclined to linger.  
  
‘Okay,’ Phil said. ‘Astound me. What are our colleagues doing in my absence?’  
  
‘Well, Stark hired Thor’s girlfriend, Jane Foster. She set up in the Tower last week. He gave the Director some science babble about why he needs an Astrophysicist on staff, but, well...’  
  
‘Nobody believes it?’  
  
‘Not a single person. Least of all Stark.’  
  
‘They’re trying to re-open the Bifrost?’  
  
‘Got it in one. It’s not a terrible idea, so long as no one tells Stark he had a good idea.’  
  
‘Did she bring that intern of hers?’  
  
‘Yes - oh, you’ll like this one. Lewis is now a full assistant, and apparently - I didn’t see this, but Romanov told me - Rogers was just falling all over himself to help her unpack the equipment.’  
  
Phil considered this. ‘Yes, she does seem his type. I wouldn’t have thought he was hers, but I suppose...’ he trailed off and closed his eyes.  
  
‘I should go,’ Maria said. ‘I’ll come back when I can - take care of youself, Phil.’  
  
‘You too, he mumbled, already slipping into sleep.  
  
  
  
 **Tony Stark and Pepper Potts**  
  
‘So, Jane’s all set up,’ Tony said to Pepper.  
  
‘Good,’ Pepper replied. ‘I need you to sign this.’  
  
‘It was hysterical, actually,’ Tony continued. ‘There’s Jane Foster, this tiny, tiny woman, yelling at everyone in sight not to break her machines, while Thor was just following her around, grinning and bellowing greetings at anyone he could see.’  
  
‘I’m sure it was a blast,’ Pepper said. ‘The forms?’  
  
‘And then her assistant - I think it’s Darcy - comes wandering in, and Captain Adorable’s jaw just drops. I mean, she is his type, if one long-gone crush can be considered evidence of a type. Anyway, she comes in, and starts bossing people around herself, and who knew the Cap had game? He walks over, cool as you like, says ‘Just tell me where you want me, ma’am,’ and Darcy says ‘my room,’ then goes bright red. Which, you know, wouldn’t you have guessed it’d be the other way round?’  
  
‘So,’ Pepper said, putting the forms down in front of Tony. ‘Do you think he likes her?’  
  
‘What?’ Tony complained. ‘You’re all business, but then it’s about Steve and suddenly you want to gossip?’  
  
Pepper didn’t even bother responding.  
  
‘I’m sure he does,’ Tony said. ‘He flirted a bit, and tried to keep it casual, but come on, he’s not good enough to hide that from me.’  
  
  
  
 **Bruce Banner and Clint Barton**  
  
Bruce yelped.  
  
‘Not a very dignified noise, doc,’ Clint said, hanging upside down from the ceiling.  
  
‘No,’ Bruce agreed. ‘It’s the kind of noise one makes when someone drops in unexpectedly. From the air ducts. In the roof.’  
  
‘Just keeping you in practice,’ Clint grinned as he dropped to the floor, landing on his feet.  
  
Bruce sighed. ‘To what do I owe the honor, Clint?’  
  
‘Bored,’ he said. ‘Tash is at SHIELD, Stark’s locked himself in the workshop, and Thor is still following Jane like an overgrown puppy.’  
  
‘Where’s Steve?’ Bruce asked absently, making a note on his spreadsheet.  
  
‘You haven’t heard?’ Clint asked, pulling himself up onto the bench. Bruce shrugged.  
  
‘Probably not,’ he said. ‘Is it something I should know?’  
  
‘The Captain has a date,’ Clint sing-songed.  
  
‘A date?’  
  
‘Yep. A real one. With a girl. A real girl.’  
  
‘Who?’ Bruce asked neutrally.  
  
‘Aha!’ Clint said, pointing at him. ‘I knew you were just as interested as the rest of us. Don’t deny it.’  
  
‘I’m not that interested -’ Bruce started to say, then gave up. ‘Okay, fine, I am. I haven’t worked in an office or a group for so long, and sometimes I like hearing that other people have normal lives, okay? So who is she?’  
  
‘Darcy Lewis,’ Clint said. ‘Doc Foster’s assistant. Tony says the Cap practically fell at her feet the first time they met. Pepper says the feeling was mutual.’  


  
**Twitter**

 @CapFan1 : at work. #capandhisgirl came in, bought tickets to The Hobbit. Any ID on her yet?  
@ironmanlover12: @CapFan1 pics or it didn’t happen. #capandhisgirl  
@CapFan1: @ironmanlover12 I’ll try when the movie finishes.  


  
 **Pepper Potts and Phil Coulson**  
  
‘They are so very adorable, Phil,’ Pepper said, resting her handbag against the visitor’s chair.  
  
‘I can imagine,’ Phil said.  
  
‘No, you really can’t,’ Pepper said. ‘It has to be seen to be believed.’  
  
  
  
 **Natasha Romanov and Thor**  
  
‘What do you think is going to happen?’ Natasha asked, swinging out of Thor’s grip.  
  
He lunged back at her and nearly had her ankle before she jumped. ‘I don’t know,’ he said, sounding frustrated.  
  
‘They’re going to go out, maybe kiss, maybe keep seeing each other, maybe not,’ Natasha said.  
  
‘It will not end well,’ Thor said.  
  
‘It’s not your place to stop it,’ Natasha said. ‘You’re not her father, Thor.’  
  
‘She is my sister!’ he announced, landing a hit on Natasha. She shook it off and bounced on her toes, aiming a punch at his chest. She succeeded as she answered.  
  
‘And he is your team-mate. Isn’t it better this way, than she dates some random boy who doesn’t understand her job or why supervillains sometimes attack her office?’  
  
‘You are wise, Natasha,’ Thor said, breathing heavily. ‘And in this, you may be correct. I will keep these opinions to myself.’  
  
She nodded, and he continued. ‘You are my sister, too,’ he said.  
  
Natasha grinned, and aimed a kick at his head, knowing he would take it as affectionate.  
  
  
  
 **Twitter**  
  
@CapFan1: no luck, they went out the side door. #capandhisgirl  
  
  
  
 **E!News Online Blind Item:**  
  
So which superhero was spotted out and about with a mystery brunette? Our sources say they stopped for milkshakes and a movie - how deliciously old fashioned!  
  
 _Comments:_

 _1\. It was Spiderman, right?_  
 _2\. No, dumbass, clearly Captain America!_  
 _3\. I met my boyfriend on this online forum - you should join, too!_  
 _4\. Ugh, the spambots on this site are horrible. Anyway, totally Captain America. Do you think he’s dating Black Widow?_  
 _5\. She’s a redhead, duh._  
 _6\. Besides, this girl is clearly a fake. Everyone knows Captain America is secretly in love with Iron Man. But the government won’t let them announce their love. I have a petition about it on my Tumblr!_  
  
  
  
 **Tony Stark and Bruce Banner**  
  
‘So, Katniss tells me you’re heavily invested in the Captain’s epic love affair,’ Tony said, flopping down on Bruce’s bed.  
  
‘This is my bedroom, Tony,’ Bruce said mildly.  
  
‘My Tower,’ he replied. ‘And I have more news.’  
  
‘Could you at least get off my feet?’ Bruce said, reaching for a tshirt. Tony complied, and Bruce kicked the blankets back.  
  
‘So, guess who didn’t come home after dinner last night?’ Tony said.  
  
‘You’re not going to go away, are you?’  
  
‘That’s right, Captain Innocent spent the night with his girlfriend,’ Tony said, stringing out ‘girlfriend.’  
  
‘Are they officially saying that, then?’ Bruce asked.  
  
‘Well, do you see Steve spending the night with Darcy and not calling it romance? He’s not really the one-night stand type.’  
  
Bruce smiled slowly. ‘I think you’re a bit more invested in this relationship than anyone else. You’re just a soft old romantic underneath all that, aren’t you?’  
  
Tony grinned. ‘You think it’s sweet, too. Come on, you’re practically a monk, and Pep and I danced around each other for _years_. Thor is in a class of his own that normal humans can’t hope to replicate. I can’t work out what Clint’s deal is, and Natasha is the _Black Widow_. Her idea of romance is probably feasting on the blood of her discarded suitors. Steve’s the only one with a halfway decent chance at a normal relationship. I know you’re rooting for them, too.’  
  
‘Yeah, I kind of am,’ Bruce said.  
  
  
  
 **Tony Stark and Jim Rhodes**  
  
 **To** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
 **From** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
  
So, who’s Darcy?  
  
  
 **To** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
 **From** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
  
How’d you hear about Darcy?  
  
  
 **To** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
 **From** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
  
Steve came over today for his military history lessons. Wouldn’t shut up about her.  
  
  
 **To** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
 **From** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
  
By ‘military history lessons’, you mean ‘playing Call of Duty’, right? And hot lab assistant. Looks suspiciously like Agent Carter in her youth. Cap has a type.  
  
  
 **To** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
 **From** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
  
I assume Pepper is matchmaking?  
  
  
 **To** : Jim (rhodey@stark.com)  
 **From** : Tony (tony@stark.com)  
  
That’s very sexist, Rhodey. As it happens, the entire Tower appears to be matchmaking.  
  
  
  
 **Jane Foster and Interns One and Two.**  
  
Jane could hear them talking quietly in the corner. She hadn’t bothered to learn their names yet, so for now, they were Intern One and Intern Two. She raised her head and glared at them. Still talking. Darcy must be at lunch, or she’d have yelled at them by now. Jane listened to them for a couple of seconds. If they were talking about work, she didn’t want to discourage them, even if she did want them to be quiet.  
  
‘Just came in and swept her out,’ Intern One was saying. ‘It was so, _unf_.’  
  
‘So hot,’ Intern Two agreed. ‘I don’t know what he sees in her.’  
  
‘I don’t know,’ One said. ‘She’s got a great rack.’  
  
Two stared. ‘What?’ One said. ‘I’m straight, but that doesn’t stop me noticing. Come on, you have to admit, that’s a major drawcard for any guy, and this is _Captain America.’_  
  
‘Hey!’ Jane said loudly. ‘Don’t you have work to do?’  
  
They both blushed and mumbled apologies.  
  
‘And for your information,’ Jane said, ‘that’s my best friend you’re gossiping about. Any guy would be lucky to date her, even Captain America. And you’ve got a long way to go before you’re even half the intern she was, so I suggest you stop talking and start working.’  
  
  
  
 **Twitter**  
  
@CapFan1 Can’t believe we don’t have an ID yet. This is the internet! #capandhisgirl  
  
  
  
 **Clint Barton and Phil Coulson**  
  
‘So, how’s the team?’ Phil asked.  
  
Clint rested his feet on Phil’s desk. Phil glared. Clint removed his feet.  
  
‘Team’s fine,’ Clint said. ‘Is that really what you want to know?’  
  
Phil stared at Clint. Clint stared back.  
  
‘Fine,’ Phil said, breaking first. Clint grinned in victory. ‘What’s happening with - Stark’s calling it the epic romance, isn’t he?’  
  
‘Yep,’ Clint said. ‘It’s been a bit quiet the last couple of days. He stayed at her apartment a few nights ago, and they had lunch yesterday. Tasha says he wants to draw her. Apparently he didn’t get the ‘draw me like your French girls’ reference, no surprises, so I expect there’ll be a movie night in our future.’  
  
Phil nodded.  
  
‘Does that satisfy your creepy old man interest in the Captain’s romantic life?’ Clint asked.  
  
Phil narrowed his eyes. ‘I am simply looking out for the well being of the team.’  
  
‘Sure you are. Want to come back to the Tower for dinner, so you can _look out for the team_ in person?’  
  
‘... Yes.’  
  
  
  
 **E!News Online Blind Item** :  
  
Our old-fashioned superhero proved his worth last night in New York, foiling a mugging while out with his lovely girlfriend. Our sources say the mystery woman is pretty handy herself and apprehended one assailant with an unknown weapon. Do we have a supercouple in our midst?  
  
 _Comments:_

 _1\. It’s totally Captain America and Black Widow._  
 _2\. No, Captain America is with Iron Man. Just look at the evidence!_  
 _3\. I met my boyfriend on this online forum - you should join, too!_  
 _4\. Damn spambots._  
  
  
  
 **Pepper Potts and Nick Fury**  
  
‘I’m sorry, Director, but he’s not here,’ Pepper said, typing as she spoke.  
  
‘Do you happen to know where he is?’ Director Fury asked. ‘I haven’t been able to reach his cell.’  
  
‘I don’t, I’m sorry,’ Pepper replied. She heard a noise in the background, and switched her phone from speaker to earpiece as she went to investigate.  
  
‘Try _again_ ,’ Fury’s voice was muffled as he spoke to someone else. He came back on the line. ‘We’re trying him again, Ms Potts.’  
  
‘Is it urgent?’ Pepper asked. ‘I think Bruce is here, although I know Tony’s off-site. I’m not sure about Clint or Natasha.’  
  
‘No, it’s not urgent,’ Fury said. ‘Well, it’s urgent for Captain Rogers, but it’s not an attack.’  
  
Pepper spied the offending object on the table in the hall. She picked it up as it stopped ringing.  
  
‘I found his phone, Director,’ she said. ‘He must have left it here when he went on his date.’  
  
‘Date?’ Fury asked.  
  
‘Yes,’ Pepper said, heading back to the kitchen. ‘I believe he and Darcy went out for dinner. I don’t know where, though. Would you like me to try her phone?’  
  
‘That’s what I need to talk to him about,’ Fury said. ‘Do you happen to know how long they’ve been - seeing each other?’  
  
‘Oh, a couple of weeks, I think,’ Pepper said, inwardly marvelling at the turn of events that had her gossiping about Captain America’s lovelife to the director of a secret government agency.  
  
Fury hummed. ‘I’m sending you a photo, Ms Potts. Would you be kind enough to give me your opinion on how we should proceed, from a PR standpoint?’  
  
‘Of course,’ Pepper said, opening her email. The photo in question was Darcy and Steve - a couple of nights ago, judging by their clothes. Pepper had helped Darcy pick the perfect shoes to match her dress. They were standing, facing each other, fairly close. Darcy was holding an ice-cream cone up so Steve could taste. Pepper smiled.  
  
‘It’s adorable,’ she murmured.  
  
Fury huffed. ‘Adorable is not the word I’d use, Ms Potts.’  
  
‘Why not, Director? It’s clearly very sweet. She’s fully dressed, so no scandals there. They’re not kissing, or having sex, or getting drunk. They’re having ice-cream. It doesn’t get any more wholesome than that, and it’s a very positive and flattering photo. I wouldn’t be at all concerned, from either a friendship viewpoint or a public relations viewpoint.’  
  
‘Just ask him to call me, please,’ Fury disconnected and Pepper considered the photo. If it was going to hit the media anyway... She forwarded it to Tony and Bruce.  
  
  
  
 **Twitter**  
  
@CapFan1: we suck. E!News ID’d her before us??? #capandhisgirl  
  
  
  
 **Natasha Romanov and Maria Hill**  
  
‘How’d they handle the photo?’  
  
‘No issue,’ Natasha replied, setting down her sandwich. ‘Darcy printed copies for everyone and autographed them. Steve looked faintly embarrassed, but I’m beginning to suspect that’s just his default expression.’  
  
‘Is it going to last?’ Maria took a sip of her coffee.  
  
‘I think so,’ Natasha replied. ‘Is Fury pissed?’  
  
‘Mostly that he didn’t know,’ Maria said.  
  
‘You didn’t tell him?’  
  
Maria shrugged. ‘I don’t _gossip_ ,’ she said. ‘Besides, it does Fury good to be in the dark, sometimes.’  
  
Natasha laughed. ‘He’s painting her, you know,’ she said.  
  
‘Naked?’  
  
‘Do you really think any of us are going to find that out?’  
  
‘No, probably not.’ Maria frowned. ‘I don’t believe in romance, or happily ever after, or any thing like that, but -’  
  
‘I know,’ Natasha said. ‘Me too.’  
  
  
  
 **E!News Online Photo Caption:**  
  
Pictured: Captain America (Steve Rogers) accepts icecream from new girlfriend Darcy Lewis.  
  
  
  
 **Steve Rogers and Darcy Lewis**  
  
 **To** : Steve   
 **From** : Darcy  
You know everyone’s talking about us, right?  
  
 **To** : Darcy   
 **From** : Steve  
 Let them talk. See you tonight?


End file.
